My Big Big Brother Rant In The Form Of An Open Letter

Dear Channel 4,

Now, to start off, this is not a rant that is anti-Big Brother. I don't hate Big Brother. There have been years where I have followed it, enjoyed it even. I see the appeal - laughing at stupidity, picking sides in arguments, water-cooler moments; and all the better because it's not fictional. I get that. I do. My rant is about you, Channel 4.

Now, again, love Channel 4. Queer As Folk, Hollyoaks, Friends, Desperate Housewives, ER... the list of shows I would never have seen without Channel 4 goes on for a LONG time. And it is by far the channel I watch the most. Hell, I was brought up on Jon Snow on Channel 4 News as his jazzy ties and Paxman attitude. But... with Big Brother, we fall out.

I understand the Big Brother show. I understand BBLB. I can almost get with the Big Mouth programme if I pretend the concept is not instantly annoying. And, again, I do not hate Big Brother. And I love you with my whole TV watching heart. Truly. But why do you destroy your E4 schedule with constant, mind-numbing Live Coverage?!

I get that maybe you have it constantly on digital, so people can choose to plug in at any time; or constantly streaming online in case your at your desk and want to be sure nothing monumental has happened, but deep down hope it has so you can tell everyone and be the hero. But turning E4 into a constant stream is annoying on so many levels.

Even when I watch Big Brother, I detest Live Coverage. The fun is the hour-long heavily-edited segment where you don't have to watch people brushing their teeth or cooking pasta. I trust your editors to show me the best bits, and cleverly edit it to show me who I should evict. So I find it hard to believe enough people are constantly watching Live Coverage that it is worth moving my shows around on E4.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you'll reply with viewing figures that contradict me. But the shows you put out every other day of the year must have viewers. Loyal viewers, who make up the basis on which your channel exists. And you are betraying us to people who will leave you when Big Brother ends? It's not right.

I don't have Sky+ out of choice, but now, thanks to your scheduling, I am prevented from watching Gilmore Girls, Friends, Scrubs et al at the times in which I have become accustomed. In fact, I will miss weeks of Gilmore Girls episodes entirely because some of us have lives which prevent us watching at 1.30 in the afternoon!

I just thought I'd let you know one girls opinion. For me, it is sad that a channel I hold so dear to my heart is taking away my opportunity to follow a show they helped me fall in love with. And that I will have to find other ways to spend that time other than watching death-defyingly dull Live Coverage.

I don't care if Big Brother goes on indefinitely into the void of time and space: just sort out how you present it to us! Because there are so many others ways to make Live Coverage successful and accessible than ruining the enjoyment of the many who do not wish to watch it.

Grace Organ
Loyal E4 Viewer

Hollyoaks Of The Year!

'Sunset Ending' beginning! I've been waiting for months, and it's finally here. I know it's sad but this probably the most exciting thing to happen to me all summer. So, was at Charlotte's when the HOLLYOAKS episode of the aired on e4 at 7.00 today. Now, this meant I couldn't write the Live-blog of my thoughts as I intended. So... here it is. To understand most of these points, you will have to watch the videos. But trust me: that is no punishment!

Part 1



0.31: What the hell is that T-Shirt, JP?
0.43: OMG; it's a taxi!!
0.48: Shoes...
0.55: Face!!
1.00: Return of prodigal son? Forgiveness? Nice tie-in!! Thought don't think Jack'll be pleased to see him...
1.15: Knew this was a dream, but is exactly what I thought a out the whole proposal!
1.35: Coward? Meaning anyone, writers?
1.55: Go away Niall!
2.00: John Paul's face cracks me up!
2.19: Doesn't John Paul look enthusiastic?
2.36: 'I said no.' Good on you Steph!
2.46: Please, Steph, stick her head in the blender.
3.12: Yeah, he didn't. And hasn't. He just loves how Kieron loves him rather than actually him...
3.25: Walking through the random new state park, OMG!
3.47: And the only meaningful relationship I've ever had is with THIS storyline!
3.58: 'It's not about him' No, it's about Craig.
4.14: Meeting the one feels like... wanting to avoid their calls?
4.30: I do love her, hope she doesn't die...
4.50: They don't let us wonder home to 'get our books'
5.18: I love Newt! 'Everything's that wrong with me...'
5.44: Missed that smile.
5.50: From Dublin? Oh, right, travelling...
5.57: She looks guilty, and so she should. Making Craig feel bad, but then she did bring him back so can't complain.
6.13: New people who aren't just in his head...
6.29: Darren helping out? That is enough to arose suspicion?
6.59: You'd know if you picked up my calls! But Kieron's too nice to say that...
7.14: Sly way of saying 'Can we wait?'
7.23: Niall as best man?! I hate him...
7.32: Why would he not invite all his sisters?!
7.50: 'You're so nice'; hardly passionate feelings, is it?
7.52: 'It drives me mad' and not in the good way!
7.57: Yeah, you should be having fun. Being with Kieron SHOULD be fun!
8.05: I feel really bad for Kieron though...
8.08: No-one gets married at 19! Except Nathan and Haley...
8.14: But you could have said 'No' Kieron...
8.27: Time... with Craig?
8.34: That's not fair Kieron; he never asked you to give up the Church!
8.42: I can recite this scene by heart!
8.57: I love his face!
9.08: Loving the eye-sex!
9.10: Craig ident! He is officially back people!

Part 2



0.13: I don't care about Kieron! Back to my boys!
0.25: What a weird picture of John Paul to have: he's not even smiling...
0.32: That's a stupid question. You know about the family stuff...
0.50: Aw, sad Craig.
1.02: Awkward!
1.10: AWKWARD!
1.22: Those smiles are so... I love them.
1.29: Didn't take long answering that one Craig!
1.42: Bit presumptuous Niall, she did say no!
2.01: That's a huge lunch to come with dessert as well...
2:21: Don't say adopt in front of Niall: he may explode.
2.48: I hate Cindy!
2.52: and leave Tom alone? Idiot guy!
3.05: 'Not with you' The man who killed my husband...
3.23: Bad timing? Tell that to Craig...
3.26: 'You can't even see when your own (relationship) is falling apart!' I hate Niall but he makes a fair point.
3.31: You don't feel bad enough to NOT kill Kieron though...
3.39: Aw, rambling JP. He still loves him.
3.47: Like, the 'Lost' line from before. They are giving us everything we want here!
3.49: 'Tall?' I think nice was more passionate...
3.57: Can't look at Craig when you are describing him though, can you?
4.01: 'Is he a saint?' LOL.
4.06: But didn't mention he was her priest??
4.13: Love that he says his name!
4.20: Poor Craig! Trying to make light of it... but you can tell. That is good acting.
4.39: Very true, we appreciate the irony.
4.37: Love that he says please! He's begging...
4.47: No, he's upstairs on the sofa
4.55: Oh, touching...
5.03: John Paul's remembering that now... the making up I mean :P
5.18: Craig's face when Darren hugs him... CLASSIC!
5.20: Wouldn't it just be easier to go upstairs and tell Jack to hide?!
5.29: Awkward! Classic face...
5.39: AWKWARD!
5.51: 'It's none of my business' But it will be...
5.54: He hadn't left the Church at the beginning John Paul, only when you got caught...
5.57: Very true, Craig.
6.04: Yeah, he hasn't forgotten about you even now!
6.23: He wants to ask 'Boy or girl?', you can see it in his eyes!
6.35: 'You do love him, right?' That is the question, my friend.
6.48: That lingering look... so many memories of that! The chemistry is still alive!
6.52: Jack is an idiot! He deserves to be found out. At least sit in a room that no one would just walk into...
6.56: But failed, Darren. Like you fail at life.
7.04: Running after him... you should have done that the first time!
7.11: Yeah, answer the question John Paul!
7.14: Took to long! Wrong answer! And you know it...
7.16: Poor Craig!
7.19: I'm sorry too!!
7.24: Only that face tells me you are sorry, John Paul. That you ever meet Kieron maybe...
7.28: That face... that face John Paul pulls when he hugs Craig. That is the difference between McPriest and McDean. I love it!
7.30: And Craig is pulling it too!
7.37: Still can't pull away right away though, can he?
7.41: How does he know that is Craig?! Poor Kieron though; I do love him. I just know that John Paul doesn't...
7.44: Good catch!
7.47: Love the short breath John Paul gives out... he doesn't want to hurt Kieron. But let's face it, he will not be able to help it. And that look...
7.56: Craig wants to hold John Paul so much! I see change! And John Paul just can't look at him. Again. It's a theme already... and the opposite of the theme last year!
8.05: I feel so sorry for Kieron!
8.18: Wish that meant Niall was dying and not Kieron!

Verdict: AMAZING! A week of this and my heart will give out!