BEDA #17 - Banking, Panicking And Nuking

Well, today was a day much less eventful than yesterday. I woke up in bed with Charlotte (read into that however you will) and when I got home there were *more* builders in my house fixing the guttering of something. Then I went to the bank and took out £800 to pay my dad back for interrailing.

I was going to talk about panicking for results, which I am doing, but I think I'll save that for tomorrow. Needless to say when people talk about it, I can feel my stomach bubbling and dropping at the same time.

I am, for maybe the first time in BEDA, talk about Luke/Noah/Reid. I really want to clarify my position. Reid has quite literally split our happy fan community down the middle. Half the people (some new, some long-standing fans, some who faded away when the storylines were particualary slow) think Reid is a godsend to the show and the other half think he's a betrayal, and a lazy one at that, by the writers.

I am torn. The reason I love Luke and Noah is that, unlike many others, I like the soapy, ridiculous, fluffy aspect to them. It amuses me and entertains me and, coming for Europe, it's a novelty to me to watch something so unashamedadly dramatic. Luke and Noah are genuine opposites in many ways, which made for (some of the time) a realistic dynamic. It's also important when building tension: soap couples break up a lot, and Luke and Noah are treated no differently in this respect.

But I like Reid. Genuinely. He's like a PG-13 Brian Kinney (so without all the sex). He's snarky and funny and believeable. I think he's incredibly well-rounded considering the time he's been in the show, well-acted and his being gay is not his defining feature. Saying that, it's not ignored and he and Luke have had some of the hottest kisses on the show ever. You know, in my humble but scarily well informed opinion.

I, unlike people who have @ replied me on Twitter, do not think this is because Luke and Noah did not have chemistry on screen. I think it's because, predominately, Luke and Noah has been a love story first. While waiting for sex was a drag, I do respect that they were portrayed as a couple willing to wait for each other.

So, my loyalities lie with Noah but I do have a massive fan-crush on Reid Oliver. So I'm torn. a lot like Luke in many ways. And I can see the pros for Reid:

1. He challenges Luke on many levels Noah does not.
2. He's opening himself up to Luke in a very uncharasteristic way - shows deep emotion.
3. He's funny and witty and the kind of guy Oakdale needs.

But then Noah has upsides too:

1. He tolerates Luke's obsessive need to be needed with more grace than Reid does.
2. His love for Luke got him out a wheelchair and got him his own sight back. That's the kind of love you hang onto. Or bottle.
3. Luke and Noah fit together in a way which seems much more comfortable - Luke's fought enough battles.
4. They both want the same things out of life - excitement when they're young, a family when they're older.
5. Noah is not an emotionally unavailible workaholic. He's more committed to Luke than anything else.
6. After everything they've been through, and how groundbreaking they are, they deserve a happy ending.

So there you have it. It's Luke and Noah ftw. Let's just hope (and they haven't got long left) that they handle it well.

And yes, I am mainly using them as a distraction from the fact my fricking life gets decided in a few days. Humour me.

Luke, Noah and Conventionality

There is NC-17/R rated language and content in this blog. You have been warned people!

So, as you probably know I am a huge fan of the Daytime Soap couple Luke and Noah (so much in fact I posted this vlog about them). In my usual perusing of the few places in which Nuke fans can openly talk about just how obsessed they are with Nuke, I stumbled upon this question in a forum and it made me wonder a few things. The question was:

'who do you think the boy is and who is the girl in their relationship?'
(They also did not use a capital letter, so I shall not, no matter how annoying it is)

This statement offends me on several levels. The first and most obvious being that it is a symptom of a bigger problem. So many people seem to have a compulsive need to put every relationship into the conventions of heterosexuality. Luke and Noah are two men - both of them. One is not the boy, one is not the girl. They are both MEN. They have sex like two men would have sex. They kiss (sometimes). They suck cock. They wank each other off. And, I assume, so many people must watch Luke and Noah and hate to imagine that. That is why the show put them off having sex for so long, in an abhorrent move to keep those on the edge of complaining from switching over. This need speaks of a problem I have with so many Nuke fans - yes, they are a classic, romantic soap couple but they are a gay couple. You can't pretend that's not true, or assume they are an exception to some bigoted rule. If you want the romance, you have to take the reality that they have sex. When you can do that, that is genuine acceptance of the characters into the soap.

From reading slash fiction from this couple (and others), and seeing both sides of the flower and vase argument, I think it is safe to say I am qualified to make some judgements over the characters. If we're asking, not to be more crude than I already have been, who tops and who bottoms then, again, are we not trying to fit them into categories? 'Noah had a tough military upbringing, doubt his conscience would let him take it up the ass' is a vast stereotype. As is 'Luke got hot Italian blood running through his veins, he does all the work!' (These are paraphrasing of things I have seen before, not direct quotes from anywhere else). There is nothing in the show to give any indication which way round their relations may have and continue to occur, but my own interpretation is that their relationship goes through stages, and I would expect their sexual lives to move in parallel with these emotions. The fact that anyone needs all the time to put them in boxes shows a complete disregard from the subtleties and nuances of genuine relationships. Luke and Noah strive for a partnership, and I am sure that that would extend into any bedroom activities.

What makes Luke and Noah's relationship so endearing to watch is the fluidity with which those labels apply until they don't apply at all. Sometimes Luke is protecting Noah, sometimes the other way round, sometimes Luke needs to be centred, sometimes Noah does. They both make stupid decisions, both stand up for the other, both have complicated history and childhoods. That is what makes interesting and believable characters in drama, and in taking this all on, it is obvious that they defy stereotype by being a genuine partnership. That is not to say there is not some sign of co-dependance but it works both ways. This is, in fact, my answer for why woman consume and create more gay content such as slash fiction and pornography, than men. Woman are attracted to a relationship without stereotypes, where dynamics are built based on personality types and not gender, where men understand their partners emotionally and sexually. There is nothing sexier than a man realises he is more than that.

The other, equally alarming, point about this question is that is suggests that heterosexual relationships should have a dominant male and submissive female. Surely we are past the point of assuming the dynamics of relationships have or should be that way. I think to build a relationship upon roles based on gender stereotypes are intrinsically flawed, for there will always be situations in which, naturally, the roles would reverse. It is this kind of understanding of relationships that forces strong women to subdue themselves and men to hide their emotions, even when in long-term relationships. It is entirely negative for society, in the 21st Century, to still pander to inaccurate generalisations for all genders and sexuality's.

Overall, this question and the additional issues it raises plagues this subculture. Mpreg FanFiction stems from the same place - straight couples procreate, I must have this couple procreate. That is not to say there is not good mpreg fiction out there that does more than this with the sub-genre but it is where it comes from that worries me. I would like to think most people who watch Luke and Noah are more intelligent than this, and I am sure they are. If not, it's their loss. Because by trying to understand Nuke by conditions they do not fit, you miss what makes then a great couple in the first place.

I have written this in relation to Luke and Noah but the same can be said for many other gay couples on television such as McDean, Chrolli, DeRo etc.

Getting what you wish for!

So, exactly a week since I posted my 2009 wish-list, and my second wish for the year has been granted. Luke and Noah, the sexiest couple in American soap opera As The World Turns, finally had sex.

This may not seem like a big step, so if you don't know, here is a brief back-story. Noah joined the soap last summer, a love interest for the long-standing but newly-out Luke Synder. He struggled to hide his feelings but failed: and his and Luke's first kiss has been watched over a million times on YouTube. After two kisses they stopped kissing for over 200 days: and the cock-blocking began.

There has been self-hate, denial, girlfriends, paralysis, Green-Card marriage's, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell', farmhouse rules, ex-crushes, step-grandfathers with inappropriate crushes and conversations about meat (if you know what I mean). The kiss clock has been ended, with those back on a regular basis, but then the fans started asking why they were the only couple on the show not to be having sex. Everyone's doing it: the underage, the elderly, the married (and not to their spouses in most cases). In total, it's been over 500 days since they meet until they had sex. And, as we know, that day was today.

But with all that waiting, you may ask why I kept watching? Well, that's simple. I love them. Now, anyone who knows me will know I am a McDeaner to the end. But Luke and Noah are different. Similarly to the great QaF debate, Nuke are a far more American story: focusing around a love of family, of commitment and companionship over the immediate need to feed your hormones. And, as frustrating as waiting for them has been, you have to admire the show for trying to draw their gay couple away from the stereotype that homesexuality is all about sexual desire: a very damaging assumption and one the soap should be proud of denying in it's ground-breaking storyline.

What I love about Nuke is what I love about today's episode. They argue, and they make up. They have a support network, who recognise how much they love each other. They are friends as much as they are in love. They kiss and you believe it. They have issues that don't disapear when it's convienent for the writers. Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann are two actors completely at ease with the roles and with a genuine talent. Even when the writing is stale, the acting is witty and engaging. It's a show unafraid of happy endings, or of sad ones, and keeps enough element of melodrama without (most of the time) slipping into the absurd. I honestly believe this is in part to the actors and the fans, some of the most vocal in the fandom community.

There are things that are missing in these clips as in Nuke as a whole: a decent storyline, for one, and a lack on on-screen bedtime antics is another. They need to move in together, and start doing this on a regular basis. But I honestly believe that is to come: the show has consistently proved me wrong when it comes to how far they will go, and the first time they give us what we want is always the tamest. I think things will heat up...

And here it is, in all it's glory:





Overall, what is so beautiful about Luke and Noah is the fairytale element that American shows seem to love to add to the equation. Now normally, cynical as I am, I brush this under the carpet as them being afraid to tell an honest story. But, in reality, I believe it is more daring. Rather than making this a modern story, pushing the boundaries, it is a soap storyline before anything else: with all the melodramas and repressions that go with that. And in doing that, they capture not only the magic of the characters but the magic of the genre.

So, to summarise, Happy Nuke-finally-had-sex Day everyone! I can honestly say it was worth waiting for! Who'll join my campaign to make it a national holiday??

xXx

Christmas & New Year

Hello, hope you had a Merry Christmas and that you're enjoying 2009 so far. I've got to be honest, so far, it feels very similar to 2008!

So I had a lovely Christmas. Just me and my parents with lovely food, surprisingly good TV (I watched a lot of Christmas specials) and some lovely gifts. 'Santa' got me a cushion, a Banksy print, a calendar, a Russell Howard DVD (in which you can see our faces over and over again) among many other things. Charlotte got me a pop-up toaster (I love it, but where shall it live?) and a lovely Julian Opie style print of me, Charlotte and Emma which is totally getting framed! Emma got me a money-box, Karimah gave me Amazon vouchers and I got a lovely bag from my mum's friend Elaine (among many others!).

Loved Doctor Who, loved Gavin and Stacey, loved The Royle Family... in fact, every Christmas special I watched I liked (it was a classic Midsummer Murders). So once the festivities were over, I did absolutely nothing for several days. Saw Charlotte a lot after that: we watched Moonlight all the way through the night until 6:15 in the morning, went to the Royal Festival Hall and saw people waltzing to Harry Potter themes and watched Religulous at Alex's.

New Year's Eve was equally jokes, we saw Emma and had THE BIGGEST BREAKFAST EVER in Jack's. Then I spent the rest of the night at Charlotte's chatting, drinking champagne, iChatting and listening to Charlotte's brother talk about the amateur fireworks display happening outside (There's a guy with no education setting off fireworks outside! He owns a chip shop, he can handle stuff!) So all in all, a very good night.

New Year's Day was equally joyous: went over to Acton to see Keith and his family, Ilo is so big and so sweet I thought I might steal him. Had a nice meal and got my usual speech from Keith about how much he loves me and my parents. Lovely. And Rana gave my a lovely bangle I'm sure I'll be wearing all year long! So this is quite short because I'm saving the space for the mega edition of...

GAY UPDATE: Why so epic? I'll be passing judgment on all my programmes from this year (I know, more important than the Oscars this). But first... it's easy to give the Christmas prize, but I think it would have won even with competition. As the only thing airing, NUKE wins. I have really enjoyed these episodes: shamelessly romantic, dramatic and setting up for what should be a very interesting start to the year. Fixed and broke my heart in consecutive weeks. I enjoyed HollyOaks but unfortunately, not because of any gay content: and until Olli comes back Ollian will not be winning.

So let's start with Ollian. It was a late edition to my repertoire, but valued none the less. The great thing about Ollian is not even the epic scenes, as heart-rending as the kisses and arguments are, but the subtle things that set them up as such a strong and loving couple even when they are not the main focus. And for that, they are clearly the best representation of gay reltionships I have seen this year.

Nuke... *sigh*. There are so many reasons why I should hate it: the unrealistic stories, the cock-blocking, the lack of physical contact but... when Nuke is good, it is up there. I admire them for taking Luke and Noah in a different direction: they're in love, it's not all about sex. And as much as it frustrates me, I am still completely hooked. Maybe it's the acting or maybe it's the characters. Either way, I'm not giving up and for me, they have the highest expectations for 2009.

Torchwood is probably my favourite BBC program of the year, and there have been many. For me, it is good in it more than just the relationship between Jack and Ianto, as much as I love them both as individual characters and a couple. It's a show about so many things: love, humanity, leadership, greed. For that, it is certainly best all-round show of 2008; hope a change of format in 2009 will not change that.

Roman and Deniz... when they are together there is such chemistry, and splitting them up was clearly a mistake. But one no one seems to be rushing to fix so for that, they are simply the best almost couple of the year. A shame what could have been so good was not allowed to develop...

Brothers and Sisters has had a good year: I liked Jason, love Scotty and am so proud of their marriage. For one thing, it gives all those Prop 8 supporters something to think about, and for that I think the deserve best statement of the year. Nora's speech made me cry and they're the most functioning couple in the show!

I have made my thoughts on QaF clear, and while it may not be this year in real time it is in mine, and I am the first to admit I was wrong. QaFUSA is good: Brian and Justin up there amoung my favourites, and while Micheal will never be Vince, I can accept the change.

So, the overall winner? It wasn't to be anything else. HOLLYOAKS wins, for so many reasons. I had been waiting for a year for the Sunset Ending, and while it was rushed, I think it did the characters justice. And the hole John Paul has left in the soap for me is frightening! They are the perfect couple for me, in their imperfections and flaws they honestly love each other. Whatever insecurities, whatever problems there is love. And the speed of the Sunset Ending was a testament to that: nothing else matters. It was an end of an era for me and so many others: not only saying good bye to the couple and amazingly talented actors but to Bryan Kirkwood who has truly regenerated the soap into something I am proud to call myself a fan of. It's light when it needs to be, serious when it needs to be and has given the internet the best gay couple in the land. For that, I thank everyone involved. And promise, with BlogSpot as my witness, I will never stop loving John Paul & Craig, and never stop believing in their happy live in Dublin. Forever may it last.

So, that's it. But tomorrow I will be posting another not real post about my thoughts on... THE NEW DOCTOR WHO! The announcment is being made at 17:35 GMT, so expect a verdict at around 18:00. Hope to see you then...

xXx

Well...

I'm doing this now with the foresight to see a Christmas/New Year post might be more appealing. Besides, I've been watching more QaFUSA and I want to officially add it to the Gay Update (drum roll not inculded).

(Checking iCal to see what I have been doing...) Ah, yes. Been quite busy actually. So, I chaired a couple of debates between Hampstead and QPCS on the first Friday of December which was quite fun. Enjoyed being in authority (and we won two out of three as well, which is not bad). Then spent that night at Emma's having our belated-and-we're-not-even-American Thanksgiving dinner, which is essentially an excuse to eat a Roast dinner. And it was almost perfect (if a bit cold) and expect them to be up on my Flickr tonight. Very funny night, I even used the candle my teacher gave me...

Went to see Licotine the next day, and they were very good. The more I see them the more they start to look like a band: and I like how many times we've seen them. We can really see how they've matured. And we saw Charlie, which was lovely.

Then the next Thursday we went to Cambridge on a school trip which was AMAZING. Beautiful place to live and giving out the free Prospectus' really helped. It wa scary though, to think this time next year I will have applied to universities. Well, that's a lovely Christmas thought.

Stayed at Alex's for our kind of Christmas meal with Karimah, me, Charlotte, Ed and Charlie. Watched Peep Show and ate food for the first half, and the addition of Charlie did change our conversation slightly. Charlotte's Tweet perfectly described it: 'Gone from dicussing porn to Tesco to Post Offices to economics to Boris Johnson to America to Obama to religion, very interesting'. Lovely evening, even if I didn't get to sleep to 5!

Cerificate Evening on Tuesday was actually a really nice night. Got my GCSEs, which feels a lot less scary than I always imagined, and I did not trip even in my immense (!) heels. Nice to see everyone (Jim, Charlie again, Jack...) and the Year Book is hilarious! Wish more people from Y had been there though...

And, last but by no stretch of the imagination least, TWILIGHT! Well a packed cinema (literally) and a fight for seats later... it was not bad. I mean, some of it was. The skin shining, the scene on the bed and the ending felt a bit like it did in the book; anticlimatic. But some of it was very good: they had the humour, both family dynamics and the style sort of worked. So... better than I would have betted on.

GAY UPDATE: You know you've been waiting for it. And again, very little to say. Ollian has been even quieter and I get the impression it'll take more than Jo Weil's return to give them a storyline. And Hollyoaks is virtually out of the picture now (until the Ravi reveal *yawn*) unless Spike returns. BROTHERS AND SISTERSwas amazing... very sweet Kevin and Scotty scenes with dialouge and family connections that let it win! But I am not giving up on Nuke... and I have a feeling it'll win over this Christmas period (considering it is the only thing airing, it shouldn't be so hard). Very sweet scenes coming up, and Brian and Luke are being given the right scenes for the first time. And QaFUSA is amazing! I love it, despite the poor quality of the video. The scenes which are identical to QAF are hard to watch, because they are not as good, but the ones that are different are truly moving. Thinking about it, current spoilers of ATWT suggest it may win!

So, merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

xXx